There’s been a lot of hand-wringing and self-flagellation within democratic circles, and on TV, and in the pundit and opinion pieces, everyone lining up eagerly to be the first to beat to a pulp all the ways democrats failed and, therefore, lost the election. No one seems to be interested in talking about how the Republicans lied, bullied, and cheated their way into power and traded their souls, their morals, and any sense of obligation to the American people for a kiss on the forehead and a kick in the ribs from their all-powerful leader.

The current breathless chatter is about how woke killed the Dems; everyone with a bullhorn is falling over themselves to declare how voters just aren’t ready for this. Ready for what? To be nice? To be considerate and fair? Dare I say, to be Christian?

It’s the Dems, so disconnected, so elite, so incapable of listening to what voters really want. When will they ever learn to stop making fringe issues the center of their platform? When will they start talking about the things that matter to the real Americans of the rural, white countryside and the small-town and suburban treasures of our nation?

I am so fucking sick of the phrases the real America or real Americans—we all live here; therefore, we are all real.

Period.

And as far as the real, real Americans, they’re the ones living on reservations in the desert.

Oh, I’m sorry, is that too woke?

Woke didn’t kill the Dems; having to play defense killed the Dems. Failing to learn after all this time how brutal, brazen, and downright vile Republicans can be, killed the Dems. The Dems didn’t put trans rights front and center of everything; conservatives did when they decided that banning children from bathrooms was more important than preserving their education or providing adequate healthcare.

Revisionist history is making me want to scream. Dems aren’t the ones taking from people. They tried to provide universal pre-K, childcare, and healthcare—Republicans blocked them. They tried to forgive student debt—Republicans blocked them. They tried to put reasonable people on the Supreme Court, but the Republicans insisted that a year was too close to the election, later pushing through their own pick only two months shy of an election. And then they gloated about it—full on, flappy-skinned, stained teeth, old white man—gloated!

And we wring our hands—oh dear me, how ever did we get it wrong?

I’ll say it again, woke hasn’t killed the Dems; the inability to play offense is what’s killed the Dems.

Conservatives have always been the ones to create hot-button issues to distract voters and ensure fissures within the electorate so they can effortlessly push forward their agenda of continuing to enrich the wealthy and throw the working classes to the gutter. And then, when progressives are forced to respond to the issues the conservatives created, everyone boos and moans; Libs are so disconnected, so out of touch with real America.

Bull—shit!

Trump’s never been a moral or religious man, but he knows how to play religious zealots, to give them exactly what they want (to restrict a ton of people’s rights) so they, in turn, will give him power. Trump has absolutely nothing in common with the working class; he’s been riding in limos and private planes his whole life, but he knows how to appeal to and tap into anger, resentment, and fear in exchange for power and wealth.

Democrats have been fundamental in expanding people’s rights and trying to guarantee equal access and protections under the law for all citizens. The Republicans have been very skilled at framing that equality as a pie, leading people to believe that equality is a slice for someone who has gone hungry and means a smaller piece for them, but equality is not a pie, and expanding rights to the previously disenfranchised doesn’t detract from existing rights. Why that is so hard for people to understand is beyond me.

It is folly to insinuate that it is so easy to confuse people; it is basically accusing the electorate of stupidity—which is insulting and false. I can say from personal experience that there is no stupidity involved. The people who have chosen this government know precisely what is happening, and what they’re reacting to isn’t an assumption that their own rights will be restricted; what they’re reacting to is the fact that they can no longer control the definition of what is moral and right. What they are reacting to is a loss of power and authority, which is blatant and ugly.

Let’s stop blaming ugliness on woke.

I was thinking about the patriarchy the other day. It cannot survive without the willing sustenance of women. Why, I wondered to myself, would women choose to nurture a thing that reviles them? It’s a massive question, one more suited to a dissertation, one I know I won’t answer, maybe not ever, and definitely not in a single essay, but it did bring to mind the whole ERA (Equal Rights Amendment) and Phyllis Schlafly debacle. Phyllis wasn’t a devoted, prim housewife who just wanted permission to stay in her lane and wash dishes—she ran for congress repeatedly and lost each time, but she had the gall to convince thousands of women that what they really wanted wasn’t a paycheck and a bank account in their name on it, but the right to stay home and scrub toilets. And she wasn’t working class either; she was an ivy educated lawyer who was pissed off that the dudes wouldn’t let her into the inner circle, so she seized her power wherever she could get it and made her mark in the only way she knew how, by taking advantage of housewives, inspiring them to rally against their own best interests.  It wasn’t because she wanted less; it was because she wanted more, and the men wouldn’t give it to her, so she used the only power women have ever had—the power of manipulation. She was angry at the men and took advantage of other women to make her point.

She had thoughts, she had ideas, but they dismissed her, tried to grab her ass, and then one at a time, abandoned her after she helped get them elected. So she fought back by demonizing the women who were fighting for relief from abuse, for equal protections under the law, for bodily autonomy, and the right to equal pay for equal work. She didn’t want to host a fundraiser to support her local congressman; she wanted to bethe congressperson; she wanted to be in the war room with the men discussing nuclear arms strategy. But she failed at those things repeatedly, so she pivoted to a battle she could win, created a hot-button issue, and launched a culture war. It was fear-mongering at its finest, including the same kind of misinformation we see today (social media didn’t cause misinformation; it just made it much easier to disseminate), insinuating that with the ratification of the ERA, women would be sent to the front lines and men would be home nursing the babies; that women would lose their right to alimony, child support, and social security, and if a woman wanted to stay home, she wouldn’t be allowed—(the only thing she was right about is women finding themselves with numerous full-time jobs and the exhaustion that ensues). It’s despicable, but it is a tactic conservatives have continued to use, twisting the facts and rallying the electorate to vote against themselves and their futures. She wanted the visibility and recognition of national politics, and the only way to get that was to organize a campaign against women.

Was this the first grassroots misinformation campaign? Was Schlafly the mother of the modern conservative moralistic movement? Maybe, maybe not, but before her, even Nixon was in favor of the ERA. And what the conservatives quickly learned is that keeping the electorate divided, whether it was dividing women or dividing people along party lines, race, economic class, education—you name it, they’ve used it—would keep them from getting things done. That’s why they keep inventing grenades to throw into the mix, like how all-gender restrooms will turn your kid trans, or why universal healthcare is somehow bad for the population, or simply using the term pro-life instead of anti-choice. It’s strategic, and it works every time.

And so, in 2024, in the United States of America, the beacon on the hill, the most powerful country in the world, women still don’t have equal rights under the law, both because of Congress’s failure to enact the ERA, but also the failure of the United States to ratify the U.N. Convention on the Elimination of All Forms of Discrimination Against Women (CEDAW). The seven nations still refusing to ratify CEDAW are Iran, Niue, Palau, Somalia, Sudan, Tonga and the U.S.

Let that sink in.

Guess the U.S. and Iran have more in common than we thought. Both despise the idea of women having rights.

It’s time to play offense, time to stop tiptoeing and apologizing. The democrats are far from perfect, as is our system of governance, but revisionist history isn’t going to change that; self-flagellation isn’t going to change that—growing a spine might, getting down and dirty just might. And whether or not the country is ready (give me a fucking break) for a woman president, we need both men and women in this fight. Women can and will lead. We will do it in slacks and flats or in heels and lipstick; it makes no difference; we’re adaptable. But most of us are sick and tired of this shit. We’re sick of being fodder for the powerful and for grown men’s temper tantrums. We’re sick of being the currency of barter and posturing that have nothing to do with us. I first watched Mrs. America when it aired in 2020 out of curiosity, but I have rewatched it since then because I’m still trying to understand, and it seems like not a lot has changed since then. The party infighting, the myriad agendas and perspectives under the same tent, seem to have always been a Democrat thing. A tent that’s big enough for so many isn’t something to be ashamed of. It means that the tent is sufficient to encompass a variety of backgrounds and opinions, whereas the Republicans demand loyalty, period. The trouble arises when the infighting is so intense that progressives and liberals jump ship because they’re not getting exactly what they want.

How are the Republicans so good at uniting behind the most despicable of policies, and the Dems can’t even manage to pull off a vote against fascism?

Misinformation is beyond alive and well, but for the most part, people are choosing to fall for it. Don’t sell the electorate short; on some level, we all know what we’re voting for. Doesn’t mean we don’t get buyer’s remorse. I read a headline last night about how Muslim Trump voters were appalled by his pro-Israel cabinet appointments. Seriously? Are you kidding me? What did you expect? There is a whole swath of conservative voters who will now have to live through being betrayed by him.

Trouble is, so will the rest of us.

In Mrs. America, the character of Gloria Steinem asks, how long do we give people to adapt to change, and am I the only one who’s so fucking tired of waiting? I have no idea if she ever actually asked that, but I echo the sentiment, nonetheless.

I propose that we all just register as Independents and make both the Republican and Democratic parties obsolete.